Remember, this is a word I do not want to ever forget when it comes to the struggles I had with food
and my weight. Once, I was so heavy after having my twins that a guy who knew me asked, “When are
you having those twins?” I responded, “I’ve already had them”. I remember pay and weigh was a way of
life for me. Exercise was a must, I was leading exercise classes and still overweight.  I led a weight loss
class and two of the ladies in the class lost a hundred pounds each; I gained weight. Imagine that,  the
instructor of the weight loss class gaining weight. That will draw a lot of people…..NO WAY!  I had books
galore on weight loss, I could tell you how many carbs were in a certain food, how many proteins you
were allowed to eat, how much your recommended daily sodium intake would be. I had all types of
knowledge about food but no willpower in maintaining a healthy weight. When I did manage to lose
weight; I gained it all back and more. I remember once going into an all you can eat restaurant that
specialized in a certain food that I loved! My husband didn’t want to go so he dropped me off. I went in
and ate myself miserable! All by myself!  I remember looking at my bank statement and noticing all the
money that I was spending on food and restaurants. My solution to that; stop looking. I felt that I
couldn’t do a thing about it. I remember eating packs of gum all day and drinking lots of diet drinks. 
Those large 32 ounce drinks and even larger! My husband commented once that the soda I was walking
out of the convenience store with was so big that he couldn’t even see my head! Food was my master, 
friend, comforter, pseudo peace, food made everything alright but me. Inside of me, my mind was in
constant torment and the nagging truth that I could not stop eating compulsively. I remember that I so
desperately wanted to stop. I wanted to stop eating when I was full but being full and staying full was
not my problem, being sane and staying sane was. During the pandemic, God, my Higher Power led me
to a 90 day Overeaters Anonymous phone meeting. My Higher Power has given me peace, satisfaction
and saneness of mind through this program. I do not remember having this type of peace and neutrality
around food; never. It is a miracle! Ninety day, Overeaters Anonymous and the Twelve Steps have
guided me and shown me that there is a better way of living.  I’ve kept off an over 50 pound weight loss,
I don’t struggle with food anymore.  For once in my life, I am living the good life and this is the only life
for me. -Eloise M.